Thursday, April 24, 2008

Bathroom Monologue: Have you ever been so tired that you...?

-Dropped your keys in the toilet, reached down to get then, then midway decided to close the lid instead to keep them safe?
-Opened the medicine cabinet, and seconds later looked inside for your reflection?
-Drove five miles with your left blinker on?
-Drove ten miles with your left blinker on?
-Argued with the police officer that your left blinker was not on?
-Daydreamed about napping?
-Put the ice cream in the cupboard and the crackers in the freezer, and when you sensed something was amiss you switched the boxes of baking soda?
-Were prepared to retire and give up all your worldly possessions to lead a life of sitting in this wonderful recliner?
-Stared at a tree out the window, trying to mentally chart how it could have grown such that its limbs looked exactly like that, rather than go through the effort of finding the remote for the TV?
-Remained in bed hoping to fall back asleep despite you bladder threatening to burst like a water balloon in the grip of an ADD-addled preschooler?
-Smelled dinner burning, and elected to give the taste of char a chance?
-Took an unbiased view of sex and concluded the pursuit was needlessly complicated, degrading, expensive, and otherwise not worth the pleasure of the squirt?
-Actually sat through the nightly news?

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