Friday, February 3, 2012

Bathroom Monologue: Shakespeare and a Ziplock Bag

 
They sat together with the lights off for half an hour before either of them spoke. Prewitt kept a towel over his face for good measure, left hand securing a Ziplock bag of ice cubes over his knee. Castle didn’t have any war wounds like that, but he couldn’t stand up from his chair. It creaked under his bulk.

“I need something slower,” Prewitt told him from under the towel. “I can’t keep up.”

“Yeah?” Castle gave a one-note laugh. “Like what?”

“I was thinking about stabbing you in the back.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I mean like Shakespeare.”

“Shakespeare didn’t stab anybody in the back.”

“We’ll start as best friends, see.” Prewitt unironically raised his hands in front of his covered face, drawing thumbs and forefingers into the shape of a picture frame. “We’ve already run together before. That time The Dragon tried to throw you off the roof, I ran in and helped save you.”

“I said ‘Thank you,’ right?”

Prewitt would not be deterred. One hand raised the towel so he could look his best-friend-slash-victim in the eyes. “Every week we’ll have some girls come out with us. We’ll be a team, and you do half the work, and I do the other half. After a few weeks, we find a girl you really like. You pretty much fall in love with her. We phase out the other valets, and she’s your one-and-only.”

“Why would any man turn this down?”

“But you’re all shy. After a month, every time we appear, she’s leaning towards me. I get grabby and possessive. Some weeks you work alone with her and me outside, and I’m clearly hitting on her. You can’t tell her how you feel, so you tell me to back off. It doesn’t matter if we win or lose, because what’s going on between us is more interesting.”

“I would like to win more.”

“Maybe that’s your frustration, right? Because you keep losing, even when we’re teaming together, and I’m always walking off with your girl. And you snap and toss me to the ground, maybe even sock me one.” Prewitt punched the end of his towel, letting it flap in defeat. “And I seem all devastated because I didn’t know you cared that much.”

“We should talk more. Communication is important in relationships.”

“The next week, I’m all business. We win for sure. We win three weeks in a row, the pay days are huge, and you’re telling me if we take gold, then you’re going to tell her how you feel. I’m all excited for you.”

“Except you’re not.”

“Except I’m not!” Prewitt slapped his bag of ice, then jolted from the realization of pain. His voice calmed as he laid both hands over the bag, massaging himself with cold. “We go to a title match, and we fight hard, and you come from behind, and you’re about to win, and I stab you right in the back.”

Castle made fists of his gnarled hands. “I swear vengeance. Like Shakespeare.”

“You bet your ass you do. But that valet you’re sweet on comes out with both of us. She has such a hard time choosing sides. One week she’s with me, the next with you, and she asks you not to hurt me too bad. Then when we finally fight, she trips you. Costs you the fight. You’re heartbroken. You leave wrestling forever.”

“Forever?” Castle scoffed and moved to sit up, except his back was still locked up. He grunted in horrid pain.

“For a couple months while you rest your sciatica. I drum up as much hatred as I can as the jerk who stabbed his friend in the back and stole his girl. Wrestle all lazy since I’m a scumbag bad guy. Maybe take a title. When you’re ready?”

“I come back and chase you,” Castle said to the ceiling, unable to adjust and face his nemesis this instant. “I’m going to rip your head off for what you did to me.”

Prewitt leaned over, one hand on his Ziplock bag, the other searching until he clasped Castle’s. They shook. It was guaranteed money and it would only cost them their friendship.

31 comments:

  1. I had no idea where this was going until the reveal and then it all just slotted beautifully into place. I wrote about wrestling in a piece about a Dad trying to penetrate the hiding places of his son's mind. I think I described it as operatic, but Shakespearean works equally well.


    marc nash

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    1. I'm very interested in when people figured it all out. Seems like a big divide between folks who got it immediately and those who saw it at the end. Fascinating!

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  2. You've been watching the Wrestler, haven't you?
    I had in my mind that they were past their prime and struggling to maintain their niche.. Quite sad, particularly the last line.

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    1. I liked The Wrestler, and its companion The Black Swan. With how little description I provided, and a couple of hints within it, I think viewing them as older and past their prime is totally valid.

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  3. The reveal was good but for me the feeling of being carried along by the developing story was the bit I liked best. Nice work.

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    1. So even though the story was entirely delivered in passive conversation, it still carried your interest?

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  4. Your love affair with the theatrics of pro wrestling continues to fascinate me.

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  5. Pro wrestling is a world unknown to me, but it sounds like these two are used to working out elaborate plots.

    Well told, John. There's a solid sense of reality in this.

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    1. When did you realize it was about wrestling? Just out of curiosity.

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    2. Pretty early on, actually. Two guys who fought each other hard enough to injure, then were calmly discussing the soap-opera plot of the next series of fights? Seemed straightforward.

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  6. Good story, John. I haven't watched wrestling in over a decade, but I used to eat it up. There is quite a bit of Shakespearean plot-twisting going on in the squared circle (and "backstage") from what I remember.

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  7. Wait! What? So, wrestling is like... fake?!?!

    Did you really write this after complaining, "No idea how to write a #fridayflash after all this editing. My brain is melting out my ears." just last night? Or did you have a draft of this that you polished up? Really good work in any case. [Although, I'm a little disappointed you didn't write about your brain melting out of your ears. ;-) ]

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  8. Yes, I did in fact write this after making that complaint. I went into the bathroom, put my head in my hands and started babbling. This is what emerged. You can see the opening as an incredibly melodramatic extrapolation of my circumstances if you want. The teasing is probably warranted.

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  9. I've never watched wrestling and I didn't realize it was wrestling until I got to last little bit. Nice plot they got going there. (Though it lacks brains dribbling out their ears.) ;)

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  10. Seems like the kind of lengths Katie Price and Peter Andre will go to to keep themselves in the ratings, and the money.

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  11. I'm with Sonia, I didn't realize it was a wrestling arc until nearly the end — I can imagine a couple grifters working on a storyline like that too. Fantastic job with the pacing here.

    Sucked me right in. Maybe because I was likening today's work to a Big-Time Wrestling bout. Monday, I grab the chair and start whaling on that project.

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  12. This actually makes me want to watch wrestling now!

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  13. A biting final line. I like the way it's all plotted out between these two schemers and yet they don't pull off the most important part to save, their friendship.

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  14. Hi, I followed you home. I really liked this piece. The reveal was great, but I was along for the ride well before that. Thank you.

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  15. I too was trying to figure out where this was going and then it all clicked into place... Great job.

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  16. I spent a while thinking why are they injured? Then you revealed it all, ha ha nice story, enjoyed the trip. ^_^

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  17. I started by imagining them as futuristic gladiatorial arena combatants for some reason. Maybe because it's Saturday morning as I write this and that set up sounds cartoony. Anyhow, when I realized that they were wrestlers, I thought "Yeah, that works too."

    Thoroughly dug riding the wave until your reveal, though. Good job.

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  18. A wrestler named Prewitt? Or is that his real name? If so, his alter-ego has to be Ziplock, right?

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  19. Talk about shattering illusions!

    There certainly was something Shakespearean about this.

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  20. I also only realized at the reveal. I wonder if they hire soap opera writers to write their scripts? And as much as the match might be rigged the wrestlers have to be really skilled and fit to do what they do. Reminds me of documentary Louis Theroux did on wrestling. They really gave him a hard time when he said it was fake.

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  21. For some reason I can hear Shakespeare and a Ziplock Bag as a children's tune of some sort....
    Such a morbidly delightful tale John!

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  22. The dialogue made me think of Waiting For Godot, I loved their banter about how it will all play. Didn't suspect wrestling until "if we take gold." Very enjoyable flash, as always here.

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  23. I love that pro-wrestlers are talking Shakespeare. The drama of wrestling is just as theatrical. :)

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  24. I swear I've done with people. We were usually drunk...

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